Hanging by a moment

[Zylocks55]

As I hang here I don't have much left to do. My last gift to the world was my end. I hope they treasure it. They say your life flashes before your eyes. That was a lie. All I see is the poorly stained walls in front of me. My breathing has stopped already. I would say it's a matter of time before my conscious fades but it's been this way for a while. Why I did this you ask? Of course not. You don't even know my name. Sure you know who you thought I was, but not the real me. You all know who I pretend to be. All of you. And I know what I say is true. Some of you see me as a person who would give my everything for anyone. Some see me as a heartless jealous guy who hates everything he's become. Truth is, I don't even know me. The real me died a long time ago. Before I knew any of you. From my very first friend to the last of my lovers, you all have false opinions of who I am. The last of blood has now rushed to my heart, trying to keep my alive, but the truth is I've been dead for sometime now.

My only regret is that I couldn't fix anything. All I ever wanted to do was make a change, and yet everything I've done ended in vain. All the smiles I gave, the life lessons I delivered, it was all pointless. I will die knowing that I was ineffective in everyone's lives. People were my main concern, and people are what caused me to climb this chair and end it all. All the tears I've carried for others, the pain they shared with me, and I die emotionless. When the tears stopped falling is when I realized I had nothing left. I could no longer cry. It began as a blessing. No more pain was felt. No more worrying. Now its a curse. To see a poor person starving on the streets and feeling nothing. No. That's no life. The flies have found there way to my corpse. Night must have fallen. It's getting colder. Or maybe that's just the lack of blood flow in my body.

There was one though. One person who could always bring it back to me. One person who could always make me cry. She had no idea of course. She didn't realize what she meant to me. She went first though. Shotgun was her choice. Maybe that's when this all started. The end I mean. When I got the news that she ended it over another guy I snapped. What was the point in trying when nothing changed. It was the end before it even began. Death. Life. Interchangeable. Two sides of the same coin. You can flip heads now, but know that it's only a matter of time before tails falls. The suns up again. A knock on the door. It seems that someone has found me. Housekeeping. She walks in and screams. Then the manager, along with two police officers come in. They take pictures. The last pictures I'll ever take. the pictures of my final decision. My final legacy to this world. They cut me down. as soon as my feet hit the ground I take a long breath. My color returns, my blood begins to flow again. The older officer takes a step back and ask me if I'm OK. I walk out without answering. The follow me and I continue to ignore them. Attempt forty-two failed. I'll never see her again.